Suicide thoughs

Does not committing a suicide means that you want to live? Maybe...but it can also mean that you're simply not able to kill yourself. That if someone gave you a helping hand you would accept it. You can't though when circumstances and other factors don't allow you. When you say that you want to die, people say that you should live. No matter if you are from a rich family, average one, poor one or if you're homeless.  People will always say things like: everything will get better, things can change, you're a master of your own life, be grateful for what you got, think about those who are in worse circumstances than you are, do whatever you want and enjoy life...
What if you don't want anything...What if you slowly stop desiring all the things that you used to desire...You slowly stop desiring everything, everything that other people do and have...money, love, friendship, going out, socialising...You lose interest in all the activities that humans have to do...work, school, eating, talking, drinking...You just wish that you can just lay under a tree, close your eyes and let the death take you away...Living when you want to die is like living in a nightmare from which you can't wake up, you want to wake up but you can't, only some people have a courage to try and escape...they are either successful or they fail and other attempts will be harder to commit, because people in this "nightmare" will try to stop you from leaving...That's how this world works, you can't decide if you want to be born, you can't decide if you want to die...You even have to pay for your own death, funeral isn't free...Humans are like a mules who have to work under a system that has been decided. Most are happy with the way the things are, but us suicidal people aren't. In this world you have to be like everyone else.

What does it feel like to be limited and trapped? Suicidal people know this very well. You want to kill yourself but you can't...why? It's so simple why can't you just do it? The answer is simple because you are trapped in a human body. Human body has many mechanisms, it's like a complicated machine, and auto destruction is against our nature. It's not impossible, but it's hard. You have to break a barrier which is holding you back.

Killing yourself isn't that simple, just a desire to die isn't enough. When you find a strength to end it all, people around you might stop you from doing that.