His Story - Homosexuality.

Be different from others, be yourself...
Yea that's what they all say.
Yet they don't understand your pain.

I'm a man who loves another man...
Love is beautiful, love is right, love is great, yea that's what they all say...
Why do they treat my love like it's wrong, like it's disgusting, like it's dirty, like it needs to STOP.
Why is my love wrong...

It was a day, like any other day.
I was walking towards the school gate, and some guys were waiting.
They asked me to come with them.
They led me behind the school building.
-What, do you want to be friends?
They pushed me on the ground.
-No, we came to play with you faggot.
Seems they found out about my orientation...
-I'm sorry but, you're not my type.
They took out a knife and they cut my face.
A teacher came and chased them away.

Why, why did this happen to me?
I put on a smile on the next day.
Everything will be OK.
People in the class began mocking me:
"Faggot", "weirdo", "freak"...
Why, why does it happen to me?

I tried to smile, it's OK words can't kill.
Everyday at school was unpleasant for me.
Laughs, swearing, stares, calling names - were the only things that people did after seeing me.
I began to hate myself.
"Seems I'm really as bad as they say".

I stopped smiling, it's not OK words can't kill...although I wish they did.
One cut, two cuts, three cuts...
My wrist began to bleed.
Razor blade...now you're my only friend.
You're the only one that can help me soothe the pain.

I fell over on him, our lips touched...
Damn, he will beat me up into a pulp.
He smiled, asked if I'm OK.
His name was Andrew.
A junkie ,but he's great.
We became friends...
We became a couple.

People found out, that Andrew is close to me.
He was covered in scars, bruises.
My boyfriend said it's OK. That he will always be by my side...
Andrew I can see your pain...

It hurts so bad, all I want is our happiness...
I want acceptance, I want the world to know that you are MINE.
I want us to be treated normally, like humans...
Not weirdoes, not outcasts not freaks!
Why is our love wrong...

Andrew...I love you, I love you. Why can't people understand?!
Andrew all I want is you.
Your smile eases my pain.
Your tears break my heart.
Andrew, I need to see you.
I want to hug you, I want to kiss you...

I've got a call :
"I'm sorry for your loss. Andrew is gone..."
Why Andrew?!
Why did you overdose?!
It was my fault...
I got no right to love...

I took a razor blade in my hands.
Oh my only friend, lend me your strength.
One slash, and I'm gone...

Story of her life - Online love.

She wanted her life to become normal.
She wanted to love and be loved.
She didn't want to suffer from it, but she had to.
She had to because the distance between them was huge.
It made her heart crack everyday from missing him.
She wanted to be next to him, hug him.
But she couldn't...
Even when she loved him with whole heart...
She never touched him.
She knew that he needs her presence too.
She wanted to hug him, look him in the eyes, and tell him how she feels.
She loves him, she worries, she cries from missing him.
She wants to be by his side everyday.
She wants to tell him everyday that...
He is her her world...
She can't stop saying "I love you" in her mind.

Suddenly her mind turned black.
She needs to be skinny...She needs to look pretty...
She hates herself...She is not good enough...
She broke up and came back, time and time again.
She loves him so much ,yet she feels like she doesn't deserve him.
She broke up one more time.
He will be better off without her, she's no good.
She said some mean things to make him stay away.

You supported her from distance...Yet it was never enough...
Why she hated herself?
You're working hard to be by your babes side.
She said she wants to die...You thought STOP it went too far.
You thought... "let her hate me instead".

Unfortunately pain won over love.
He said a girl offered to date him, and he wants her permission.
Her heart broke into pieces.
She tried to act cool.
Who is she? Is she pretty? Don't be shy you should date her.
Each word she said was like a bullet.
She kept hearing about the new girl.
I love you...I hate you...
I want you...I don't...
Stay with me...go away...
Go to her...be with me...
Her heart split in two.
One part is yours...One part is broke...
Come here...She needs you...She wants you...
Go away...She doesn't need you...She doesn't want you...
She wanted to die...She tried to starve and dehydrate...But she was always stopped.
All she could do is cry...And wish you were here...

A different guy appeared...
Forget him, he was a jerk...You deserve something better , someone like me.
Part of her heart still belonged to him...
There was no place for another guy.
She did something evil to ease her pain.
She used the new guy to soothe her pain. The new guy only wanted her sexually anyway.
She watched him suffer...Do you feel my pain?
She dropped the new guy...She moved to the next one, and next one and next.
All wanted her body. It didn't matter she just wanted to be desired.
Why does her heart still aches when she thinks of you and her?
She heard you plan to get married.
Why does it hurt like hell, why can't any guy help her with her pain.
Why being alive is worse than dying?
Why does it hurts so much.
There's no pain after dying.
Why her love turned into pain and hate?

You said it was all a lie. That the new girl was no one special.
There was never any dating. There was only studying. 

She couldn't believe any of that.
Was her pain really a lie?


Why did she feel like shit, why was she disgusted by you?
Why hearing about it only made her feel worse?
She thought everything will be fine if you will be here, by her side.

Why does it feel like a lie, why does it.
When will you be by her side?

August.

He's not here. Why did she feel like he broke her heart together with this promise.
She met another guy, she cheated on him. Why old habits are coming back to her?
Men are pain...they won't do her good...She felt dirty, she felt disgusted by herself.
She told him everything. She promised never again.
When will you come she needs you, she need you.
Nothing can stop her pain only you can.

I will be on October.

He isn't here...why does it feel like he is drifting away from her.
Is that girl with him...Jealousy is in her.
Is she not important any more? Why can't he  keep his promise...
She ended up breaking hers too out of pain, out of hurt,
She cheated on him again. She felt like a slut. Why did she end up that way.
She told him what she did. She promised never again.
She asked him when does he promise to come this time?

December, on your birthday.

December is over, why her tears are flowing. Is he disgusted by her?
Does he not want her any more? She cheated for the last time, she wanted to let him know that he hurts her, no less than she hurts him. She told him about it.


She began thinking:
"No...why are my thoughts so dark and disgusting?"
"Why am I seeking revenge?"
"Why am I cheating?"
"Why I'm no longer happy?"
"Why am I such a bad person..."
"Why do I hate him?"
"Do I still love him?"
"No...this craziness needs to end."
"We spent too much time on fighting."
"I decided it's time for final break up..."
"I loved him but love turned to hate, I can't live this way..."
"I will ask him one more time, when will he come. I want to hear that before I'm gone."

When will you come?

I can't promise anything. Maybe next December.

The half of her heart was about to get crushed.
She instinctively wanted to save it.
She asked if she should come to him instead.
The boy didn't want her to.
It's over she thought.
All that fight lasted 2 years, and felt like eternity.


She told him everything. She suggested breaking contact.
The boy pushed on staying friends with her.
The girl agreed.
The part of her heart responsible for love, is gone.
No desire, no missing him, no love.
He became just an online friend.
Although the part responsible for pain is still there.
It aches, it hurts.
Why did it end?
Was it love or was it fake?

Will she ever be able to love again...?