Anorexia

Anorexia is like a second half of you. It's part of you. It controls your thoughts, your body. Anorexia feels like a friend and an enemy at the same time. It kills you, yet you feel like it tries to help you. When you try to escape ,it will grab your hand and say that you can't go. Even when people around you will think that you overcame the fight, it's just an illusion. Anorexia might have less control over you, yet it will still whisper "you're fat".

All that you want, is a skinny body. All that you want is to be beautiful. All that you want is have no fat whatsoever, that other people are shaming so bad. You don't want others to look down on you. You're scared that when people look at you they think "She/He should lose some weight". It's painful it hurts. 60kg...55kg...50kg...45kg...40kg...35kg...30kg it will never be enough. You can lose all you want. Anorexia won't say to you "It's ok you can stop, you're skinny now". Anorexia will say "Look at that belly, ew when you bend so much fat comes out". It will make you want to lose more, and more. Anorexia won't provide you happiness, it will lead you to death. 

Food...it's your enemy. It's pleasurable taste is a trap. Anorexia said so. So she must be right...